Senate Christmas Carol Parody 2024
Back when the University of Waterloo’s biggest problem was its inability to enjoy life, the powers that be would schedule a December meeting of Senate. Of course this wasn’t very well received; you can only push the peasantry so far before they grab their pitchforks and march on the castle. The meetings were almost always cancelled, and to celebrate I began writing Christmas carol parodies to reflect upon the year that was.
Santa Vivek in his merciful wisdom has abolished the December Senate meeting, but the Senate Christmas carol parody continues. This year’s carol, sung to the tune of that old chestnut “Winter Wonderland,” pays homage to the unusual year that was 2024. And if Christmas is a time that brings you not joy, but rather anguish and feelings of regret, you’re in luck: I’ve provided an a cappella recording of the carol.
(And yes, the rhymes are fudged, as is the metre: deal with it.)
Recent Parodies
“Walking in a Senate Wonderland”
Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”
Brought to you by the makers of Auto-Tune (who wish they had been given the opportunity to apply their software to this recording).
The President speaks:
are you listening?
In the hall,
campers protesting.
An unusual sight,
endless talk of speech rights:
walking in a Senate wonderland.
Gone away
is the boredom.
Here to stay
is the annoyingdom.
Everyone has opinions,
but all I have are sore bunions
from walking in a Senate wonderland.
In the meeting we can build a budget
and pretend expenses will go down.
The Provost’ll claim: that’s done!
We’ll say: No man!
You have to stick around
until more money is found.
Later on
we’ll conspire
on Masters programs
that will inspire
executives to pay
and balance the “budgé”:
walking in a Senate lalaland.
In the meeting we’ll get all creative
and invent a brand new teaching stream.
Lecturers'll say: we have tenure!
We’ll say: hell no!
But you can do the job,
while we pursue our research dreams.
After exams
we’ll all calm down,
and avoid
having a meltdown -
until we receive
on Christmas Eve
a new agenda for the Senate -
a new agenda for the Senate -
a new agenda for the Senate wonderlaaaand!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours!
- Senator Skid