Senate Christmas Carol Parody 2023
Back in the Before Times, the University of Waterloo Senate would always schedule a December meeting, only to cancel it every year because, well, WHO WANTS TO ATTEND SENATE A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS? To celebrate this magnanimous show of mercy on the part of the university’s administration, I began to write Christmas carol parodies to sum up the issues that had come before Senate that year.
In the meantime, the University of Waterloo has come to its senses and simply stopped scheduling December meetings. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have a Christmas carol parody! So I give you this year’s carol; on this page you’ll find the lyrics and, if you’re one of those people who looks for reasons to hate Christmas, I suggest you listen to my recording of the parody, also on this page.
This year’s carol is sung to the tune of “Away in a Manger,” and yes, I sometimes fudge the rhyme and metre. Sue me.
“Away in the Senate”
Sung to the tune of “Away in a Manger”
(With apologies to music lovers everywhere)
Away in the Senate
an agenda without end!
The little boy senator
is becoming despondent.
The vice presidents are lowing,
the mini-v.p.s do as well:
there are now so many of them
the noise it does swell!
The talk is of finance
and structural deficits.
The deans, so deeply sleeping,
awake in starts and fits!
“Our budgets are sacred!”
the deans do declare.
“We have nothing to sacrifice!”
they say in despair.
The students look shellshocked:
“Will the university collapse?”
“What are the solutions for this?”
“Surely there’s an app?”
The President on the dais
addresses the horde:
“Our only way out of this:
an appeal to Premier Ford!”
The cynical laughter
from the floor it does rise:
“Good luck with that, matey!”
the senators do chastise.
Our little boy senator
casts one eye o’er the scene;
with the other he does ogle
retirement pastures green.
The meeting finally finishes,
the crisis abates
until the next agenda
with Policy 76/77 debates!
Merry Christmas everyone, and a happy and healthy New Year to you all!